It’s been a year since the COVID-19 pandemic swept across the United States and even longer since it first touched the world.
Many have felt heartache to levels they had not experienced before. Some lost loved ones. Some were let go from their jobs. Some fear what the future will hold and wonder if we will ever get through this.
We don’t know how to process and navigate the COVID-19 pandemic, let alone the division caused by isolation, contentious politics, and racial injustice that this season has brought.
After living through this, you might know what it feels like to be in a “winter of the soul.”
For me personally, I went through a “winter of the soul” that lasted from August 2019 to March 2020. I dealt with deep pain as I watched my grandma pass away from cancer over the span of three of those months. She decided to go through treatment in the hopes of seeing me graduate from pharmacy school, but did not live long enough to see it.
Amidst this, two young people I knew also passed away, one from cancer and another from a car accident. I saw the pain that weighed on their families, but also the sturdy hope of God in their lives as they believed Him to use their story for His glory.
Winter of the Soul
A “winter of the soul” is a period of time where God feels distant from your heart and attitude due to trials, difficult circumstances, unrepentant sin, or other unknown causes which God may be using to actually grow you.
Trials and troubles are not new to mankind, nor are they a surprise to God. According to 1 Peter, we are not to be bewildered by the trials that we face. These challenging and heavy trials can lead to incredible spiritual growth, wisdom that comes directly straight from God, and an endurance likened to Christ Himself.
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.
Experiencing winters of the soul is a normal part of a walk with Christ. There is an ebb and flow in feeling close to God, whether it’s an inexplicable distance from God or trials that are overwhelming us and robbing our joy.
Like the season of winter, there is a thawing that gives way to spring.
An Icy Heart
Imagine a lake or pond at the end of winter and the beginning of spring. It has a mixture of ice and water.
What is the difference between ice and water? Their molecules are made up of 2 hydrogens and 1 oxygen. At the core they have the same components, yet ice is immovable, solid, and rigid to a force exerted on it. Water is flexible, liquid, and free-flowing to whatever comes its way. The difference does not lie in the water molecules themselves, but how well it absorbs an external source of heat.
In the same way, two people can have the same gifts, backgrounds, thought processes, brokenness, and personalities but respond differently to God. One person can be like water: open and surrendered to God, free flowing in accordance to the wind and movement of the Holy Spirit. The other person can be as rigid as ice: stuck in their ways and sins, unwilling to move out of their comfort zone to trust God with their difficulties.
When we are in a winter of the soul, we must find our warmth and comfort in the fire of Jesus Christ, allowing Him to melt our iciness to make us open to His direction.
What does it look like when we allow our soul to be open to God in both the easy and the hard times, the good and bad times, the times when we feel the peace of God flood our soul and the times the heaviness of the world and heartache seems to crush the hope we have inside?
The Warmth of Jesus
In Luke 7, there are two situations displaying people responding differently to Jesus.
Warmth for a Sick Servant
In Capernaum, a servant was sick and about to die. To try to convince Jesus to heal this man, people made two different arguments.
The first argument came from some Jewish elders who tried to convince Jesus to heal the servant because of all the good he had done for the city. He built a synagogue and loved his country, so the elders explained to Jesus that this man was worthy of healing (Luke 7:4–5).
The second argument came from the centurion in charge of this servant. This centurion had great authority and was kinder to his servant than most were in that time period. Instead of flaunting his accolades, the centurion said he was not even worthy to talk to Jesus. He pleaded to heal the servant because of Jesus’s greatness. He understood who Jesus was.
At the end of the story, the servant is healed. Jesus remarked that in all of Israel, He had not seen a faith as great as the centurion’s (Luke 7:9).
This story shows that Jesus is not impressed by a religious resume, but rather by the humility that places trust in Him.
Warmth for a Forgiven Sinner
Later in Luke 7, Jesus was eating dinner in a Pharisee’s house, who was a person of great honor in that society.
A sinful woman then entered the Pharisee’s house. Full of tears and sorrow, she wet his feet with tears, wiped them with her hair, and poured perfume on Jesus’s feet.
The Pharisee chastised this woman to himself, for she was a sinner, one that Jesus should know to avoid. Recognizing the Pharisee’s heart, Jesus told a parable to illustrate how one who is forgiven of great things loves greatly, but he who is forgiven little loves little (Luke 7:47).
Jesus commended the honor the woman bestowed upon Him and condemned the lack of hospitality the Pharisee showed.
Once again Jesus showed that he does not care what we have done, but cares for us “as we are.” He is graciously willing to take the troubles, burdens, and worries we have accumulated throughout our lives.
Warmth for All of Us
Jesus’s love for us does not stop in the winter of the soul, even when we feel like it does. He is always near, no matter the circumstances, to walk with us in the hardest moments of our lives.
In the winter of the soul, do not become calloused to God. Instead, turn to and trust Him, giving Him in humility your hurt, brokenness, and sorrow. Like a lake frozen that melts in the presence of the rising sun, so do our hearts warm up to follow the Spirit in the presence of the risen Son.
From the heavy trials that I experienced with my own family and saw others face, I realized the length, prosperity, and comfort of our lives is not what brings the most meaning. A life tragically cut short can bring just as much glory, if not more to Christ, than 100 years of an easy life with much health, wealth, and peace. A small pebble in a lake, too short or insignificant in the eyes of many people, can cause a ripple to spread in free-flowing water.
When our hearts are warmed by the love of Christ, our lives can ripple out beyond our capabilities to impact the world in a way that helps winter give way to spring, sorrow give way to joy, hurt give way to healing, and darkness give way to light.
Next Steps
- If you are in a “winter of the soul,” turn to God and trust Him! Through prayer and in humility, give Him your hurt, brokenness, and sorrow.
- Share this with post someone who is experiencing a “winter of the soul” and offer to pray with them as they surrender their own hurt, brokenness, and sorrow.
- Reflect on a past “winter of the soul”, whether it happened just this past year or a while back. Thank God for getting you through that season and ask Him to use that part of your story for His glory.
